Thursday, December 30, 2010

Thursday 5

I decided that I want to start doing the Thursday 5 led by Nicole over at Flip Flops and Combat Boots. She's a super fun blogger to follow so check out her site... HERE

The rules are simple... write something that has made you feel each of these things..

Totally Stoked
HAPPY - I am so happy that we got paid today and were able to avoid some fees with the craziness that happened to our bank account this week
DELIGHTED - I am delighted that I have been able to spend so much time with my little munchkin as she grows and changes! She is such a big girl now and loooves standing with the help of her new toys and she eats real big girl foods! soo fun!

GRATEFUL - I am so grateful that Kaylee and I were able to spend 12 whole days with daddy over Christmas break. It was the best present ever being able to have him here with us!

TOTALLY STOKED - I am totally stoked about my new found determination and motivation.. and gym membership!! I am so ready to get back to feeling good about myself!

THANKFUL - I am so thankful for my family and friends and baby girl, and for Jesus. With the Christmas season passing it reminded me even more about the life Jesus sacrificed for me! I am also soo thankful for the extra time (thanks to my break from school) I have been able to spend with him; praying, worshiping, and reading his word!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

21 Days to Organization!

So I came across this awesome idea today and decided I am so in.. I may not be able to accomplish all of the challenges since the whole house isn't mine.. but I am definitely in...

expect a big post tomorrow... lots on my mind to share with my blogging world..

the blog has kind of been dead because of Holiday crazy, finals, and my fear that my posts need to be perfect... but I have gotten over that and am just going to turn this in to the example of my life... my not so perfect, UNORGANIZED life.. haha.. woohooo bowl of lemons challenge here I  come!

Friday, December 3, 2010

Blogger Fail

So it has been way incredibly too long since my last post! Life has been pretty crazy busy for me lately! I plan to finish up my post and then go to town on a fun new blog... stay posted!!

Friday, November 19, 2010

random things that make me happy

Ok so I have been wanting to blog on all the new things/deals/awesome stuff going on in my life but haven't had time!

First things first... this weekend my princess turned 6 months old.. where has the time gone?! Seriously I am in utter amazement every single day by the sweet little girl God blessed me with. She is growing and changing every single day and before I know it she will be crawling. It is such a blessing to be her mommy and I wouldn't trade the sleepless nights or trying to study one handed so that I can hold her at the same time for the world. It's a challenge sometimes but she truly has changed my life for the better and I will do everything in my power to give her the best life possible.

On Monday, We got these awesome pictures taken at the Target Portrait Studio! They came out so good that I had to buy the disc so I have them to do whatever I want to! I am so excited about them and can't wait to get on shutterfly and get creative!! I would have already but homework has really been owning my life this week, makes it hard to find time for much else!
 This is the latest Motive's Make-up catelog. I just ordered some stuff from them for the first time and let me tell you it is such nice make-up! A little pricey but if you are willing to spend it you won't be disappointed! I went to a Make-up party a lady at church was hosting for her daughter who just became a junior member and got a make over and instantly fell in love and bought a few things. It's always nice to feel pretty you know!

 These would be my awesome new running shoes that I absolutely love. What makes them even more awesome is that I got them from Khol's on a super good sale with a 30% off coupon needless to say.. they were less than 35 dollars! And, I got 20 dollars Khol's cash (and another 10 from a different purchase) that I went back with another day and got my new favorite thing.  A HEATING BLANKET! Being a SoCal girl I never needed one, but experiencing my first REAL winter this thing is a must! It's like 22 degrees outside tonight! Anyways, I knew I wanted one and knew they were going to be expensive.. Costco had one on sale for 30 and it was hard to walk away, but I wanted to look around and knew I could go back and get it if need be. So I go into Khols and this heating blanket is normally 105 (anyone who knows me knows I am cheap and would never spend this much) on sale for 55 plus my 30% coupon which had't expired yet AND my 30 dollars khols cash.. I got the blanket AND  a new long sleeve shirt for a whopping $17.56!!! I am so super proud of my steal of a deal which makes me love the blanket even more!

So obviously, it's the simple things in life that make me happy and I wanted to throw out there that we got new windshield wipers for the car this week. HOLY COW .. I have NEVER been SO EXCITED to use my windshield wipers... THEY ACTUALLY WORK! I can see out of my front window after I use them!
Which will be especially nice because...
It's officially winter in the Midwest! sorry for the not so great picture it was taken through the window haha as I have yet to purchase my own pair of snow pants or boots I have not spent any time in the snow yet. A lot of it has melted off but it's definitely here to stay until spring! So now those windshield wipers are extra special to my heart!

I also wanted to let you mommy's with little princesses know about some of my favorite online stores (aka women who are amazing and talented and have created their own website and stores etc) a fellow navy wife runs this page and it's so awesome! Do not let the store name fool you, yes she rocks but she takes custom orders and has made some of the MOST amazing things that my Kaylee owns/wears!! You can also check out the facebook page HERE
http://  a pair of marine wives who set this up for some fun and ended up making a thriving business out of it! I am currently waiting on my order from them but know that it will be nothing short of amazing.. they have one day left on their 20% off sale!! Check out their facebook page HERE Elisabeth is awesome and makes everything! Hats, bows, dressed, jewelery.. you name it the girl is amazing with crochet needles! I just got a sneak peak at the hat I had custom made for Kaylee and LOVE cannot wait to get it in the mail! Check out her facebook HERE

Isn't it so adorable?! I will post pictures of some of the other goods I picked up from her later!

Lastly, Lil Monster Hats! I've never personally ordered but they have some really adorable stuff for your little girls AND boys! So mama's check it out!!

Anyways, one last big thing to report... This weekend I get to craft! You have no idea how excited this makes me!! I have been desperately wishing to get a break so I could craft, but I just never seem to find it! This weekend our church is hosting something called Hearts and Hands where the women come together, craft on whatever projects you want, and eat a delicious lunch... AND we get to take a class of our choice! Our whole family originally signed up for the pie crust demonstration... until I found out there was a class for learning to Sew!!!!! I am beyond excited as I have been wanting to do this for a while! If all goes well, I will be asking for people to get me amazon giftcards for christmas to buy the sewing machine I've got my eye on! So be on the look out for a post about that!!


oh.. and to leave you with one of my my fav pictures from our photoshoot..

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

No Matter What

by Kerrie Roberts is definitely my favorite song right now. It truly touches my heart and says all the things I am trying to pray but can't always verbalize. I don't understand, I can't understand what is happening why things keep going forward and then backwards again. I just have to know that I'm doing the best I can. I'm trying to be Christ like, praying reverently for God's wisdom, strength, guidance and understanding. That's all I can do right now, I just need to buckle down, hold on to my seat, and pray through the ride God is sending me on. I am strong enough, the Lord is on my side, but it's still so scary! It's so scary feeling like you are in a happy, good places and having it thrown in your face that you're wrong. I just feel like it's always this way.. I feel bewildered and lost after the crash.. What I have to praise God for today is the way I handled it. I've never handled it quite the way I did tonight. And maybe that's why I got the reaction I did because it's hard to know how to respond to kindness and understanding. When you are used to an angry, bitter, self-pitying, untrusting attitude that is how you prepare yourself "for battle".. when someone else changes it up maybe it throws you off.. you're unprepared to respond to love, understanding, kindness, and genuine compassion mixed in with confusion. Everything I said was totally true, I didn't say anything out of anger or disbelief or self-pity. I can only pray that things continue to go up from here. I know that God has His hand in everything, He is the one sustaining me right now and no matter what he is good and I will love him and trust him..

And thus the lyrics..

No Matter What by Kerrie Roberts

I’m running back to Your promises one more time
Lord that’s all I can hold on to
I gotta say this has taken me by surprise, but nothing surprises You
Before a heartache can ever touch my life
It has to go through Your hands
And even though I keep asking why, I keep asking why
No matter what, I’m gonna love You
No matter what I’m gonna need You
I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain
But if not, if not, I’ll trust You no matter what, no matter what
When I’m stuck in this nothingness by myself
I’m just sitting in silence
There’s no way I can make it without Your help, I won’t even try it
I know You have Your reasons for everything so I will keep believing
Whatever I might be feeling, God You are my hope
And You will be my strength
Anything I don’t have You can give it to me, but it’s OK if You don’t
I’m not here for those things
The touch of Your love is enough on its own
No matter what I still love You and I’m gonna need You
No matter what I’m gonna love You, no matter what I’m gonna need You
I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain
But if not, if not, I’ll trust You
I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain
But if not, but if not, I’ll trust You
No matter what
No matter no matter what
No matter no matter what
No matter no matter what

I had a super happy random post about all kinds of awesome things.. but this needed to be let out tonight. having said that all I feel better. Praise God for his strength and love, I'm going to bed. Be on the look out for a fun post soon.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Thankful, grateful, amazed, and PROUD

“With bravery and strength they serve,
with dignity and pride they stand,
with courage and hope they fight,

the life they live is

and hard going

but when the fog clears they are the one who will still stand.”

  Today, is 11/11/2010, but what today really is, is Veteran’s day. All day long I have had tons of different things that popped into my head about what exactly I wanted to say today. I've been thinking carefully about the words I wanted to say and what I wanted them to mean for me and for everyone else. Sometimes it was happy thoughts, others kind of sad, sometimes a quick remembrance, and sometimes it was angry and full disappointment in lack of appreciation and respect, but always it was proud. I’m not going to vent like I planned once about the people who never said anything or the people who complained, instead I’m going to remember and appreciate those who matter. Today is THEIR day and NO ONE should be able to take that away from them no matter what they say. Not someone who doesn’t believe in war, not someone who doesn’t have a member of the service in their immediate family, not someone so caught up in their lives and their complaining that they have forgotten.

 Today, I want to say THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU from the very bottom of my heart to all of the men and women, past and present who have served this great country. Freedom certainly is not free and the United States is so incredibly lucky to have men and women like you willing to defend our freedom, sacrifice the holidays and special occasions, work the long hours for not so great pay, say more goodbyes then most could take, and put their lives on the line every single day. I honestly don’t care what anyone says, we are SO lucky to have the sailors, marines, soldiers, airmen, coasties and national guard, both active duty and reserve, retired and current, past and present. You truly are not honored and thanked enough for the things you do! So again, thank you.

 That being said, I especially want to remember and thank the fallen soldiers. So many of our men and women signed their names on the line to defend this great country, and often times don’t make it home. While defending us they gain their angel wings and go to be with God. They pay the ultimate sacrifice so that right now I can be laying in my bed, with a laptop in my lap, saying whatever I want on the internet and all the other luxuries. To their families and friends, thank you for loving someone so incredibly much that you stood by them as they defended our country to their grave, we are forever in debt to you, as well. 

 That being said I want to thank the service member’s families and especially the women in the silent ranks, the wives. The wife of a service member is certainly not easy, but one thing I promise you is that it is the most rewarding thing in the world. I wouldn’t trade the times where I’m a temporary single mom, the broken phone calls, the worry over news and safety, the heartbreak watching a ship sail out of site, the frustration when the car breaks down and I know nothing about it, the constant moving, the constant unknown, or the constant change for anything. God made military wives a special breed of woman, and I am honored to be one and even more honored to stand amongst my fellow millie friends. The military has brought me some of the most amazing friends that I will always appreciate and will never forget. We are in it together, we are the only ones who truly understand one another, and we become a second family to one another. Our kids become the best of friends; spend hours playing together, and hours crying together when their daddies leave. Do we have our difference, absolutely, but ultimately we are there when the pregnant woman needs a soda, the new wife needs information on housing, the new mom needs a shower, the friend needs a stiff drink and a shoulder to cry on, and we all just need something to keep us distracted. So to the families, the kids, and especially the military wives –Thank you for your sacrifice as well. Behind every good soldier is his wife to help hold down the fort while he’s gone, we are lucky to have them and they are lucky to have us!

Military runs deep in my family and will always have a strong hold on my heart. My great grandpa Campbell was in WWI, two of great uncles (both Campbell’s) were in WWII, my grandpa Wohlford was on the very first Naval Seal team and part of the Chuting Stars, my grandpa Wallace was in the United States Navy during Vietnam, my husband’s grandpa Allen was in the United States Army during Vietnam, my step-grandpa Ted was in the United States Navy, my uncle Ray served in the United States Air Force, my dad was a United States Marine, and my husband is in the United States Navy. (I’m sure I’m forgetting some here.) Along with the TONS of friends who are serving in all different branches, Air Force, Marines, Navy, Army. You name it, I’ve got a friend in it and I am so thankful, grateful, amazed, and PROUD of their answer to the call to defend our country. 

As if my post didn’t scream it already, I am SO proud of be an American. I live in the land of the free and the home of the brave and I wouldn’t have it any other way! I thank God every night in my prayers for the men and women who serve and have served and for this country. We are so lucky to live the way we do because freedom honestly isn’t free, people are paying the price, sacrificing their lives for us. Please, say thank you to a service member. You don’t know how much it truly means to them.

God Bless America. 

Tuesday, November 9, 2010


This is going to be a quick post because I’m exhausted, but I wanted to share my excitement with you guys!!
3 Things:  
1.I have only been on WW for less than a week and I’ve already lost 4.5 lbs! Yeah not a lot and probably mostly water weight but I am thrilled as I want to lose 20-30 pounds! It’s going to be a process, but I’m going tomorrow to turn in my relocated spouse of active duty deployed for FREE YMCA! Didn’t know about it? Me either, check it out at your local Y!! Also, someone finally brought it to my attention that running is probably so hard on me because I still have my cruddy tennis shoes from 10th grade? Yeah, time for a change! So I’m on a hunt for the perfect pair of running/exercise shoes that don’t make me go broke for a whole pay period!! Any  suggestions let me know!
2.       2. I officially have my first follower!! Her name is Patty and she is FABULOUS! Be sure to head on over and check out her bloggy blog HERE. Thanks Patty!
3.       3. I honestly am so tired I can’t even remember what my third exciting fabulous news was… be on the lookout for a real blog post soon!


Friday, November 5, 2010

America's Best Kept Secret... and hopefully a skinner me!

Have any of you been to the Midwest before? I can say that until I moved here on Sept  27, I had only ever landed in MSP on a quick (and dramatic) layover once in Jan of 2009 on a flight to visit my father-in-law in Ohio. Anyways, that being said, my first time was when I was moving here while the hubs is training and deploying. Risky? Absolutely, but hey this is where my family is!  That being said, it is absolutely amazing here! I am convinced that the Midwest with its clean air, beautiful landscape, sweet and welcoming people, farm land, seasons, cleanliness, wholesome small town feel, and water towers is definitely America’s BEST KEPT secret. I think that so many people think, “Bad weather and farms, I’m not interested,” but seriously people YOU ARE MISSING OUT!! Yeah, I haven’t lived through the snowy cold seasons and there is no denying this California born and raised girl is going to have a hard time adjusting, but even still if you haven’t been the Midwest you need to book a vacation ASAP! Minneapolis and St. Paul are both gorgeous cities right along the Mississippi and the metropolitan area surrounding has every bit of the small town feel only 25 minutes from the twin cities. One thing I have grown to appreciate in the small town I’m living in is… Water towers… call me crazy but there is something incredibly comforting and soothing about seeing a water tower and knowing that you are home. I’m convinced that this is one of the most amazing places I have ever been and aside from friends and family being in San Diego, if I never went back again, I don’t think I’d be sad. I’m just hoping now that Maryland, my new home sometimes next year, will be just as amazing to me. But, if it isn’t, we are only required to be there for 3 years, and I know now of somewhere I would love to raise my kids, right here in small town USA –midwesterner style.

xoxo, Amanda
OH by the way... how do you guys feel about Weight Watchers? I started this morning and at first was a little nervous but the more I'm learning.. I am really getting excited. My goal is to loose 20lbs so wish me luck! I picked up the cook book this afternoon and some of the recipes sound sooooo good!!! One thing that irritated me though was today I took my little sis, her friend, and my little bro (and my sweet Kay of course) to Culvers and even though I DREAM about their burgers decided to be a good girl and get the grilled chicken cashew salad with fat free vinaigrette... I get home and log online to enter my points and wouldn't you know.. the stupid salad was 11 points and the burger I wanted was only 9!!!!! what the crap is all I have to say about that!! Also, in San Diego the grocery store was loaded with the weight watchers little pre-pointed goodies etc... here I can barely find anything!! oh well, I'll make it work!!!

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In

Ok friends, it's that time again.. MilSpouse Friday Fill-In brought to us by Wife of a Sailor  feel free to head on over and check it out and an awesome blog.
1. A different twist on last week’s question. This week, the first question is: what’s the nicest thing a MILSPOUSE has ever done for you? (brought to you from navy_smurfette)
I have learned that MilSpouses can be some of your best friends.. and your worst enemies. In a world that seems to be filled with anger, jealousy, and sometimes a lot of he said she said.. I have had some very refreshing millies come out and touch my life! While I was pregnant I had a friend whose husband was also on my husband's ship help me out countless times. She would bring me soda when I craved it and my husband had the car, check on me when I was alone, and have me over multiple times to eat and just hang out. She was so sweet, and not just to me that's just her personality to everyone. It definitely won't be forgotten!!
2. How often do you drive faster than the speed limit?
Well, in California before my accident I drove way too fast (not Mike speeding but over the speed limit..) basically everyone in San Diego does.. but after my accident and my husband's speeding tickers I was a little weary to drive at all, let alone speed. Here in Minnesota however, all the speed limits are wayyyy higher!! So I am always struggling to keep with the flow of traffic, still in my crazy CA mentality. I swear people are constantly looking at my plates like "really cali girl?!"
3. Did you have a nickname in school? If so, what was it?
Mostly Manda, Amanda Panda, or just plain Panda...
4. If your life was a book, what would the title be and how would it end?
Well, that's kind of hard since I have not lived my whole life! Well, with where my life is right now, I'd probably name is the same name as my blog. I can only hope that the ending would say that God was pleased and I lived a happy, full life.
5. Look back (in your planner if you have one) to September 14th… what did you do that day?
Not entirely sure what I was doing exactly, but it was RIGHT before we had to be out of our house so I am sure I was packing, stressing, planning, and homeworking!

Saturday, October 30, 2010

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In

So as I'm getting acquainted with the world of blogging and finding tons of military wives and just plain awesome women I've come across some fun blogging ideas. Being a sucker for a survey I thought that this sounded like a fun one. I posted a link to the original website so if anyone is interested head on over to Wife of a Sailor and check her out.. She's awesome!

Without further ado.. My first Friday fill-in!

1. What’s the nicest thing a stranger has ever done for you?
I had a random older man see me in my Navy wife shirt one day and pay for my starbucks and thank me and my husband for our sacrifice. It wasn't much but simply knowing what my husband does is appreciated makes it that much more rewarding.
2. If you are having a hard time going to sleep, what do you do to help yourself?
Music or reading or a benadryl
3. Name something that makes you wish you were a kid again.
Sometimes when I get really stressed about money or everything that I need to get done I will say "oh to be young again" but ultimately I think being kind of care free (those who know me know I've never been so good at being care FREE I'm a worry wart)

4. What is something you never believed until you experienced it?
I never believed in a true real love at first sight, and than I had my daughter Kaylee.
5. What can’t you say “no” to?
I think my hardest thing is to say no to people who want to spend time with me whether it is going out to eat, watching a movie, playing games, shopping or just hanging out. I love my friends and family so much and appreciate their company that I sometimes feel obligated or really guilty if I can't or just don't want to.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Our Story..

Warning.. this is a super long post..

There is a saying that says “the only thing constant in life is change” and oh boy have I learned that and made it a mantra for my life. Life doesn’t stop for anyone, and having become a part of military life I think I’ve learned that time and time again. Life always moves forward and things are constantly changing. As a person we can choose to let our lives slip through the cracks never adjusting to the changes, or we can stand up tall and make our lives and make those changes have meaning. My life has always been a big mixing pot of crazy, changing, hectic, unstable events but one place I always found peace and some sanity was in the church (even though for a long time I tried my best make Jesus irrelevant to me – that however is a topic for an entirely different post) when I finally reached my breaking point God brought me my saving grace and welcomed me back into His arms. I quickly adjusted to a feeling of peace, and boy was it unlike anything realizing through all the pain and damage I had caused others and myself, God still loved me. He still wanted ME. It took a long time to fully comprehend that, and sometimes I still don’t. Anyways, through the church where I found so much peace, I met the love of my life and a sailor in the United States Navy in July 2008. We had a whirlwind romance filled with so many things I never expected, we fell instantly there was no doubt about that, and got married on Saturday, September 27, 2008 (like I said it was quick and unexpected ) Needless to say, we decided that no matter what happened we always wanted to be together! He took me to Balboa Park one day about a week after we sat outside my house and he told me “Amanda one day you are going to marry me, I already know it!” I found this interesting because I hadn’t even really entertained the idea that I would marry anyone anytime soon, let alone a military man, let alone only a few weeks after dating!! Anyways, he took me to balboa park and he pulled out a box and handed it to me and began to say “I know we haven’t been together very long but I know now that it doesn’t matter who else comes into my life, you are the girl I want to spend my life with, the girl I one day want to have kids with, the girl that I want sitting beside me as I grow old.. I know this is a lot and I know I’m leaving soon and I’ll wait to set a date as long as you want, tomorrow, next week, after the deployment, I don’t care, I just need to know that you want all of those things one day too” I of course was shocked and surprised but knew that I felt the exact same way, I said yes and urged him to put the ring on my hand, after all… he didn’t get down on one knee and we were getting engaged after less than a month of real dating… we had to do something traditionally. At first I was unsure of when we would get married, I just knew that I loved him and I prayed about what God wanted me to do. Mike and I had been together every single day since we started when he went out for training week with his ship, it being my first time experiencing anything like this I cried and cried and spent a lot of time thinking. That’s when I realized that it didn’t matter how long it had been it didn’t matter what anyone else thought I knew that I wanted to spend my life with him and raise a family with him so he got home and off we went. We didn’t tell anyone we just went to the court house that morning.. I was in shorts and a tank top and he was in jeans and polo (typical, if you know Mike).  We practically laughed through the whole ceremony the judge said “in sickness and in health” and I of course whispered “remember the sickness part” the judge said “for richer or poorer” and Mike whisper “or poorer-er” and we giggled. Then he got to the end and pronounced us “spouse and spouse” (I know it was during the time when California was allowing same sex marriages, but seriously?) I’m sure the judge and witness thought we were a pair of dumb kids getting into something we had no clue about.. and maybe that’s true.. looking back I certainly had no real idea what was in store for us had no idea what marriage really entailed but either way that was it.. I officially went for ms. W to mrs. A (sweet change in the alphabet, I know).. and began my life with my forever.
I’m sure some of you are like “seriously, you got married that fast, alone in the court house with no friends or family” and trust me I often catch myself doing the exact same thing. I know it broke my dad’s heart not getting to “give me away” and looking back the only thing I honestly wish I changed was having some people there.. no I never got my dream wedding.. but I know one day I will.. when that day will come I honestly can’t tell you.. life gets busy, things get expensive.. but I know it’ll happen one day.. one day I’ll put on that white dress and walk down that aisle on my Daddy’s arm looking at the face of my handsome husband waiting at the end and we will get our “I do re-do” and it will be special because our sweet baby girl will get to be a part of it. Anyways moving on with “our story”.. right after we got married we went through all the crazy drama with social security to change my name and then the real drama came with trying to get a military ID and get on the waiting list for mil housing. Of course, Mike left for almost a month shortly after we got married, which left me to take care of all this tell my family without him (the navy welcomed me to milwife life in FULL FORCE haha). Telling everyone wasn’t easy, a lot of people were upset and hurt, which at the time felt like the end of the world for me (unfortunately this is how I tend to view every difficult situation) looking back I know everyone was just concerned for me and my wellbeing (and rightfully so). In the middle of the month training the boat came home for a few days and my AMAZING wonderful family threw us a surprise wedding shower with a cake, family, presents the whole 9 yards it was amazing and so sweet and a day I will never forget. We got almost everything we needed for our kitchen which was nice because we were both going into an apartment with basically nothing but I’m pretty dang thrifty and was able to make it work on a small budget that we got all the necessary furniture off craigslist (most of which I ended up reselling later in life for more then I paid.. it’s a gift, I know.. haha) On November 17, 2008, with the help of our whole college bible study, we moved into our first apartment together and we were so excited!! Had it not been such an exciting time we probably would have seen that the place was a complete dump that would fall apart beneath us (and oh boy did it..) but hey it was our first home TOGETHER and the military owned and had to pay for all the maintenance anyways so it was perfect! We spent the next two months soaking up every ounce we could together going to seaworld, seaport village (one of our favorite places), December nights in Balboa Park, and over all just loving each other like no other, we went on vacation to Ohio to meet his dad, brothers, and Great Grandma (who is by far one of the best women I have met in my whole life) but we had to take different flights because of my work schedule which was a disaster (I’m sure I’ll have another post one day about how much I despise the airlines, airports, and flying in general). When we got home, we had only a short week left together before the dreaded D-Day, I don’t remember much about that week except that I cried A LOT and would have random break downs. The night before finally came, we spent the whole night not saying much, just wrapped up in each other. I can remember sitting there trying to memorize everything he did, the way he smelt, the way he moved, the way his heart beat sounded. We didn’t even know how long the deployment was going to be (typical of the military.. hah) and so I wanted to make sure that I didn’t forget ANY details.. at some point I remember waking from a dead sleep in tears freaking out because we had less than 2 hours before we left for the ship.. there wasn’t anything to be said really and we both lay there awake in silence soaking in the last of our time together. That morning a bunch of friends came to the house so they could be there to send him off in prayer and with love. I was so appreciative of them, but also kind of angry because our last drive to base, we had to drive in separate cars to get everyone on base (petty I know but at the time I was feeling a little selfish ok) those were the hardest few hours.. we all got to go on the ship take pictures together yada yada.. And then the announcement came over the speaker letting us know it was time for all family to leave the ship. Mike came off with us and we all huddled around and prayed and prayed and prayed. And then we had to say our goodbyes so I got my hug and kiss and off my blue eyed sailor man went. He had to be in the bridge so while everyone else lined the ship for their loved ones to smile and wave at.. I sat there begging and pleading that he would get to come out and wave.. but sadly it didn’t happen… I stood there starring as boat pulled away from the pier with the single most important person in my life and my other half and there was not a single thing I could do to stop it. I sobbed and tortured myself into standing there until I couldn’t see the boat anymore. And that was it, I walked to the car with a friends girlfriend I was taking to the airport. I dropped her off and then parked on shelter island and got out, sat on the rocks and just cried my heart out. When I finally went home to our empty apartment I changed out of my clothes and into his cloths sitting on the floor that still smelled like him. I sat down thinking, what do I do now? And cried myself to sleep, Needless to say it was the beginning of a long deployment. I eventually learned how to function alone for lack of better words.. I got used to waking random hours for a short call that was usually cut off, staring at my email and constantly pushing refresh,  having my phone glued to my hand (and freaking out when I missed a call in the off chance that I sat it down). It was crazy, but I didn’t care I would do anything to make sure I got to communicate and feel him with me in some in ANY way. Like most couples, sadly, deployment started to really put a strain on us towards the end. We fought constantly and had a lot of ups and downs and even lower downs. I felt my heart break in a way I never imagined and would feel it come back together and re-break over and over.  Homecoming wasn’t the typical amazing welcome home you think of, and at the time it stunk I was bummed but looking back it’s ok, because we spent the next few weeks just working on us and learning how to re-adjust to each other and how to work as a team. It wasn’t easy but it was so worth it. By August we were finally back to our normal happy over the top in love selves. I was over joyed to say the least. I got a job as a nanny and even though life was busy enjoyed our time together, we spent tons of time on the beaches, hanging with friends, going to the movies, and just being young and in love. We came up on our one year anniversary and went to knots berry farm together to celebrate. It was so much fun and we really enjoyed just hanging out together. After that life got busy with work, both of us in school, etc etc.. and one morning I started feeling so sick.. and it continued for a while I had multiple people tell me that I was pregnant but in my head that was impossible I was on birth control and it wasn’t part of the plan (our plan that is.. God had other plans!) After about two weeks I remember sitting at a friends house and I’d hit the lowest of lows with how miserable I was feeling and I turned to Mike and said “I have got to take a test!” he didn’t understand what I was saying and said “Ok want me to take you home or can you take it on my laptop?” and I said “Babe, not school test, pregnancy test” and his lite up and he jumped up and said “ LET’S GO BUY ONE THEN!”  and so off we went.. I was so nervous and scared even though deep down I already knew the answer. I went in the bathroom did my pregnancy test thing and within 5 seconds (the test said wait at least 3 minutes) it said I was pregnant and Mike opened the bathroom door and said “Well..” and I said “You’re going to be a daddy..” and burst into tears.. happy, sad, nervous, anxious.. you name it.. I was feeling it.. I was terrified of being a mom ALREADY even though deep down I wanted to be so bad and because the planner that I am this was NOT part of the plan we were waiting until after I graduated. Anyways, we began telling family and almost everyone was sooo excited and loving and thrilled to hear. We were making people aunts, uncles, grandpa’s, grandma’s, and GREAT GREAT grandma’s (that’s pretty awesome in my opinion).. it was such a fun amazing time even though I was sick as a dog!! When we got to my first appt.. we found out I was already 12 weeks pregnant! (balboa took 4 weeks to get me in so I knew around 8 weeks). They estimated my due date for May. So we began our preparations. Shortly after, my family and some of the most important people in my life moved to Minnesota. I was so hard on me, especially with the pregnancy knowing they wouldn’t be there but luckily the communication these days is amazing and they were still with me every step of the way! We decided that our apartment was NOT the place to raise Baby Allen (the name until we found out she was a she and her name was Kaylee). At the beginning of dec a 16 week pregnant, college student, 30 hr a week nanny and her sailor husband who was always working began packing our house and putting everything into storage. We went to Seattle to spend Christmas with my mom, and we drove (worst idea everrrrr haha but lots of stories to share with kay one day!!) Mike got a ticket going there AND coming back! We played in the snow, celebrated Christmas, indulged, spent time with family, and visited with one of Mike’s very best friends from A school and his wife which was awesome. When we got home we stayed with my dad for a little while and then moved into our new place which was wayyyy better than our dinky apartment. At the time the pregnancy seemed like it drug on forever, looking back it seems like a blink of an eye. On May 13, 2010 I gave birth to my perfect princess Kaylee. She has truly been the best thing to happen to both Mike and I. It wasn’t hard for me to adjust at all I slipped right into being a mommy and loving my girl and Mike right into being a daddy. And boy was she a daddy’s girl.. INSTANTLY! The same week Kay was born, I transferred and began my undergad with Liberty (ballsy I know.. it was hard but so worth it). I got help from friends and family through the times Mike couldn’t be around because of work which was sadly more then we both liked but it was okay because we KNEW he would be off the ship before her first birthday (not so sure now!.. surprise surprise?! Haha) anyways.. we started putting in for shore duty and got orders to Maryland and were stoked!! Mike was going to be busy with training between oct and deployment (don’t know the dates and even if I did due to OPSEC I can’t share with you guys but one day you’ll see the post that they are gone) anyways, because of the big move to Maryland, the fact that I’m working on my BS online, that the baby and house by myself was hard work and Mike leaving with permission from my lovely and amazing second set of parents (long story if you don’t actually already know it..) Kaylee and I moved to Minnesota where we are living with the family God blessed me with so many years ago! Living here has been so good for us, I’m doing great in school, have tons of help and support, the baby is soooo spoiled everyone adores her (hello look at that face who wouldn’t love her?!) and it’s just so nice being away for the craziness of San Diego.. just missing one thing.. my blue-eyed sailor man. It’s been exactly a month since we last saw each other, and some days are harder than others. I have days where I feel broken but overall Kaylee helps me keep it together. She is so much like daddy it’s incredible his twin and mini that’s for sure. She is 5 ½ months and kisses his picture every single day. It’s the sweetest thing in the whole world! But that’s it, that’s my story of us.. not a ton of K but I know there will be millions of posts about her! My life has been a whirlwind of changes and moves and risks but it’s made me, me. One of my favorite quotes in the entire world is “They never said it would be easy they just said it would be worth it.”  Has my life been crazy? Yes! Has it been hard? Absolutely! Has it been worth it? Without a doubt!

If you stuck through that whole thing.. you're awesome.. and now you know my life in a not so small nut shell..
I plan on adding pictures later but Kay is finally back asleep and so back to sleep I go as well!!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

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