No Matter What

by Kerrie Roberts is definitely my favorite song right now. It truly touches my heart and says all the things I am trying to pray but can't always verbalize. I don't understand, I can't understand what is happening why things keep going forward and then backwards again. I just have to know that I'm doing the best I can. I'm trying to be Christ like, praying reverently for God's wisdom, strength, guidance and understanding. That's all I can do right now, I just need to buckle down, hold on to my seat, and pray through the ride God is sending me on. I am strong enough, the Lord is on my side, but it's still so scary! It's so scary feeling like you are in a happy, good places and having it thrown in your face that you're wrong. I just feel like it's always this way.. I feel bewildered and lost after the crash.. What I have to praise God for today is the way I handled it. I've never handled it quite the way I did tonight. And maybe that's why I got the reaction I did because it's hard to know how to respond to kindness and understanding. When you are used to an angry, bitter, self-pitying, untrusting attitude that is how you prepare yourself "for battle".. when someone else changes it up maybe it throws you off.. you're unprepared to respond to love, understanding, kindness, and genuine compassion mixed in with confusion. Everything I said was totally true, I didn't say anything out of anger or disbelief or self-pity. I can only pray that things continue to go up from here. I know that God has His hand in everything, He is the one sustaining me right now and no matter what he is good and I will love him and trust him..


And thus the lyrics..

No Matter What by Kerrie Roberts


I’m running back to Your promises one more time
Lord that’s all I can hold on to
I gotta say this has taken me by surprise, but nothing surprises You
Before a heartache can ever touch my life
It has to go through Your hands
And even though I keep asking why, I keep asking why
No matter what, I’m gonna love You
No matter what I’m gonna need You
I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain
But if not, if not, I’ll trust You no matter what, no matter what
When I’m stuck in this nothingness by myself
I’m just sitting in silence
There’s no way I can make it without Your help, I won’t even try it
I know You have Your reasons for everything so I will keep believing
Whatever I might be feeling, God You are my hope
And You will be my strength
Anything I don’t have You can give it to me, but it’s OK if You don’t
I’m not here for those things
The touch of Your love is enough on its own
No matter what I still love You and I’m gonna need You
No matter what I’m gonna love You, no matter what I’m gonna need You
I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain
But if not, if not, I’ll trust You
I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain
But if not, but if not, I’ll trust You
No matter what
No matter no matter what
No matter no matter what
No matter no matter what


I had a super happy random post about all kinds of awesome things.. but this needed to be let out tonight. having said that all I feel better. Praise God for his strength and love, I'm going to bed. Be on the look out for a fun post soon.