Wednesday, March 26, 2014

The Dawn.

There are lots of sayings about dawn and joy and the new day...

The night is darkest just before dawn...
Sorrow lasts for the night but Joy comes in the morning...

.....I think we've hit that early minutes of dawn where all is still very dark but the sun is just barely starting to peak over and rise up.

And I love it. And I'm thankful for it. And I'm soaking in it.

It all kind of flipped around this weekend in a way I can't fully explain.. I told my husband and a dear friend when we spoke that I couldn't put a finger on what I was feeling saturday night but SOMETHING was different. 
Something just didn't feel the same in me.
And it wasn't a physical thing or an I'm getting sick thing.
It was very much emotional and spiritual and it felt.... good.
I said maybe its just the good weather we've had (we hit 70s this weekend before dropping back to freezing snow!)
I said maybe it was just a good day with fresh air.

But I knew that wasn't it.

And I said.... or maybe we are about to hit dawn.

After some really dark months.... the darkest I'd experienced in a while. It was resonating with me that this was the beginning of day break.

I have a hope in my heart that I can explain as nothing but Jesus. But it's so strong I can't contain it.

I've nonstop been in prayer, been in tears, been in song. Been on my face asking God to continue to be present with me.

After days of feeling so apart from Him my heart is bursting to feel Him near again.

But apart from his presence I can't explain the restored hope. The feeling of dawn so near I can taste it. Of our time line of hopes and dreams for God's plans... the desires of our heart... so close to becoming reality. But I feel it.

It's near.
It's not long now.
It's the minutes of dusk before the sun has actually begun to rise.
Darkness is still so near I almost can't see the color coming up over the horizon..
Oh but it's there.
And until then I am going to keep on praying and praising and crying like the emotional baby I am... because even tho I was mad, and I was sad and I turned my face in anger....

God never stopped pursuing me.
He never stopped loving me.
He never stopped reaching for me.
He never stopped planning for me.

And His timing is always perfect.
And I'm slowing looking back and seeing the answers to why.

Oh friends, joy truly comes in the morning... and it is truly darkest before the dawn...
But when the dawn comes...
It restores.

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