Just not feeling it...

I was going to continue on to my 8 fears portion of the challenge but honestly.... I'm just not feeling it... I think I might be coming down with something or just finally hit a wall from exhaustion... or both... there is some insane raining going on around here as effects of tropical storm lee so traffic was insane... went with my mister to the eye dr this morning... spent forever in traffic... then spend forever in the commisary... literally like 2 hours... then spent forever in traffic going home... tons of unloading, organizing and cleaning out the fridge, freezer and pantry then more driving to pick up mikey from work, then dinner... i literally didnt rest all day long... i just cant even think...my body hurts and i just feel sick.... blech! no fun... ANYWAYS... ill be back tomorrow... hopefully in much better spirits!

Don't forget to get entered into my giveaway here

9 Loves..

Sooo I know it's technically supposed to be ten days in a row, but I took the weekend off to spend some times with my family, get caught up on my homework, and clean up the house... Pretty happy it's Labor day and we all get an extra day to enjoy our loved ones. This morning the mister and I did some extra deep cleaning and organizing and he even steam cleaned our whole upstairs and the den here downstairs... it was awesome...

Last night I posted about a giveaway I have going on here for your very own copy of the book Faith Deployed... Again by Jocelyn Green. You have until Sept 10 so don't forget to get in on the giveaway.

My 9 loves in no particular order

#1 -- My handsome studman sailor husband. He is truly my bestfriend, soul mate, and other half. We complement each other perfectly. He knows how to make me laugh when I am sweating the small stuff and I know how to make him smile when he gets too serious. I love spending time with him even if we are just in the same room on our computers. He never lets me go to bed alone when he is home and not away and that is one thing I will always cherish about him. He is the best daddy and I adore watching him and our baby play.

#2 -- My precious special full of life little girl -- Kaylee. She is truly my sunshine and my pride and joy. She is the reason that I work so hard and have such high hopes and goals. My desire is to give her a life I didn't always have. She is constantly making me laugh and keeps a smile on my face. I have adored watching her grow up and learn. She is becoming her own little person and that is so exciting to watch. I love when she dances, sings, laughs, plays, colors, and builds legos. She is already so fun and I can't wait to continue to watch her grow

#3 -- My God. My life was lost and empty before I turned my life over to Christ. He is my strength and comfort through the tough times. He constantly has His hand is my life and walks with me through all things. I am not deserving of His love but so incredibly thankful to have it. I love to just sit and stare at the beauty of his creativity in nature. He is my savior and I am living my life for Him.

#4 I love my family. All parts near and far. My extended family my cousins and my family friends. Whether they are blood or God blessed me with them I am so thankful to have all of them in my life.

#5 I love exploring the different amazing things of our world. I love going to see new things and learn new things. I have a new found love for exploring our new home. I love going into DC and seeing all the cool things, I loved driving to VA and exploring, and I love that there are so many things I've never seen or done here.

#6 I love my bed. I love that after a long day of craziness I can sink into my big comfy bed with all my blankets and pillows and I just sleep... and it's good solid sleep usually which is hard for me! It makes my long days that much easier!

#7 I love the fall! I know I am crazy but I am not a huge fan of the summer!!! It's so HOT and I don't do hot well. I love the fall, the cool breeze, the falling leaves, the hot cocoa and soup weather, apple picking, fall baking... ALL OF IT! Love it love it!

#8 I love pictures. I don't have a crazy good camera for photography just an awesome point and shoot thats safe in the water, but I love pictures. I love capturing memories of all my family and friends and just the beauty God's creation.

#9 I love baking. I seriously adore baking any and all things. But sadly with trying to loose weight I haven't gotten to do this in a while. I like cooking a lot too but when things don't come out I get kind of discouraged.. Luckily my husband is awesome and loving and totally will try anything I cook.

Faith Deployed... Again... A Review and a Giveaway!

I have been wanting to read Faith Deployed for some time now but just never got around to purchasing it with all the craziness around here with buying a new house, PCSing, and settling in so naturally when someone offered me a copy of “Faith Deployed… Again” I couldn’t say no!

This book was honestly one of the most inspiring amazing books I have read in a very long time. Faith Deployed… Again is written by Jocelyn Green with contributions from over 25 other authors associated with every branch of the military. 

The way it is laid out it could be read as a daily devotional or you can just read it a few stories through at a time. The book is broken down into 8 different sections of different topics routed in faith to help encourage the wives on the home front. Each topic is broken down into a bunch of different stories that include a title and the authors name, a bible verse in connection to the topic, a story, some questions to reflect on, and closes with a prayer to tie it all together. 

I used this as a daily devotional and found it very encouraging, uplifting, insightful, and motivational. Each story has something different and some of them made me laugh and some of them made me cry, but all of them got me to think and reminded me to be thankful but more importantly to trust in the Lord to be my strength and to lead my path. 

The book reinforces that the military lifestyle in all branches is tough it’s a daily challenge and struggle –especially while our loved ones are deployed, but with Christ all things are possible. If we arm ourselves in the Lord we can never be lead astray. This book is a true sentiment to the military wives – strong, courageous, loving, and brace – as we stand watch on the home front. This is great for any military wife, but will be especially uplifting for a spouse with their service member deployed. 

Another awesome thing about this book and it’s prequel is that they have a great facebook page and website for additional information and support. 

I was blessed to receive TWO copies of this book. One for myself and one to give away to you guys here on my blog. 

To enter this giveaway you must be following my blog and leave a comment with your name and email address and the branch your service member represents. 

For additional entries post about this give away for your friends [linking this post to it] either on your facebook or your blog, and then come back and leave another comment with your name, email, and a link to the post.  The giveaway ends on September 10, 2011 and the winner will be announced first thing September 11. 

Goodluck! 

10 Day You Challenge .... 10 Secrets

So I am sure that you guys have seen this challenge around in the bloggy world. I know that I saw quite a few bloggers doing it... and decided I would jump on board! So... 10 secrets...

10. I really dislike curse words. I know sometimes I let things get the best of me and I am certainly not proud of it, but when someone cusses every other word it really makes me cringe! I especially dislike when people cuss in front of their children. Call me old fashioned because I know that a lot of them hear it at school etc but I don't think they should hear it at home. But.. that's just me..

9. I try everything in my power to eat really healthy, workout everyday, and drink only water.. I am even on weight watchers right now, but honestly sometimes it just doesn't happen. I have been doing way better since starting weight watchers in the eating and drinking department, but the working out I still really struggle in! I know part of that is due to my fibromyalgia, it leaves me in pain for days after one intense 20-30min workout or run.

8. Guess it's not really a secret but a lot of people don't know that I have Fibromyalgia. I was diagnosed at 15 after waking up one morning swollen all over, in so much pain it wasn't even possible to get out of bed, and so weak I couldn't pick up a glass of water. After weeks and months of shuffling from one doctor to another, being pulled from regular school and put in home studies, facing my worst fears with needles and blood and tests, and being told it was all in my head or that I probably had __________ a life threatening or delapitating condition (you name it they said I had it) I finally got directed to a doctor that found the missing links. Learning to live with it was an interesting journey some days I am still learning because on the outside I look normal but on the inside sometimes I am in severe pain and people don't see that. Because it's not something that you can see physically on the outside I endured a lot of painful criticism and rumors when I returned of people thinking I had disappeared to give a baby up for adoption or whatever other things they thought up.

7. I honestly don't want to work a job... at all... I wish that I could always be a full time stay at home mom to take care of my family and kids... at least while the kids are younger... I really want to be able to be actively involved in all the different steps of their life... who knows... I've still got some time... but right now I am working some odds and ends jobs and applying for more... simply because we could use the money... not because I want to.

6. Another not to secret secret is that I am totally and completely addicted to Facebook to the point that it is sickening!!! I am working on breaking the habit little by little but I think I need to like go cold turkey for a while. I don't want to delete it all together because it's the way that I communicate with so many of my friends and family all over the place! I have been doing better and have been reminding myself not to waste time on things or people I don't need to talk to or read about. That has definitely helped!!

5. I am totally obsessed with music... singing and dancing in the like.. when it's just Kaylee and I we turned the music up extra loud and dance around. I totally adore the fact that my one year old loves dancing already because any little beat comes on and she is wiggling her shoulders, nodding her head, clapping her hands, and shaking her butt!! It's too cute. When in the car I like to turn the music up loud and just sing it out! Did I mention I am not a good singer or dancer? haha

4. I am not loving Maryland as much as I thought I would, but I think part of that is everything I do is online so I haven't had a huge chance to meet people and make new friends. We recently started attending a new church and I am hoping to get plugged in there and things will start getting better. Regardless I am making the most of our situation and our new found home and do all sorts of exploring etc. It's pretty cool but I can't deny I wish I had some friends.

3. I hate the summer. Okay for my close friends and family that isn't a BIG shocker, but honestly I hate the heat. I cannot stand when it's hot and humid... made MAryland in the summer a real pleasure... haha.. I could honestly live in like.. Seattle or something where it's cold practically all the time, but I won't lie.... I really enjoyed the midwest winter... yeah yeah call my crazy but just thinking about all the snow is cooling me off.

2. I have a serious problem with confrontation. I hate to confront someone and make a big deal out of things. I don't like fighting and any sort of uncomfortable discussion ends up with me in tears most times. The first sign at someone being mean I cry... haha... call me a baby but when I feel attacked I basically shut down... I mean if something is necessary I will get it out and the discussion will be over, but I don't see a point in being mean to people for no reason or attacking someone's beliefs. The only time I feel comfortable talking to people about things that could cause confrontation are when we are really close because even if we don't agree.... it usually is discussed in a loving manner.


1. I could totally live my life Duggar style. Okay Okay not quite that way but what I mean is I would love nothing more than to have a BIG family with lots of little babies.. but my husband doesn't like this pictures so much haha. We both came from large families but his experience left him wanting a small family and mine left me thinking BIG BIG BIG. I guess it will all be left in the Lord's hands.

 Wow! This was surprisingly harder than I anticipated... who has 10 secrets right off the top of their head? I really had to think about it!!

Accepting what you cannot change... And What's Your Song? Link Up!

I will be the first to admit that I am a stresser... You name it.. I've stressed about it... I stress to the point that it sometimes physically hurts me or makes me ill... it's really kind of sick that I let things affect me this way... One thing I have been working on for a while is finding God's peace in all things and laying it down at the foot of the cross.. I sometimes feel like I am doing a lot better at not being anxious but it all things going to Him who comforts me in prayer and feeling the peace he brings. BUT.. I am human... and sometimes it gets the best of me anyways... on days like last night!!

I am officially in 4 classes and they are JAM PACKED I know that I could lighten my course load but I am really pushing towards graduation and don't want to put it off a whole semester just because of 2 extra classes you know? Well I started to read all my course outlines and plan out in my planner what is due by when and what reading I have etc... and let me tell you... this is going to be ONE INSANE QUARTER!! I have 3 classes that end at the end of oct and then two more that pick up and end in dec and math that goes from now til dec... and holy cannoli I have a crazzzzy semester in front of me!! Currently I am taking a old testament bible class, a intro to christian counseling class, a teaching the bible and religion class and the math class and I definitely have my work cut out for me between the insane amounts of reading, tests, papers, journals, discussion boards... wowza!

Anyways what really got me on this topic is that I have found while I am in school I just don't have enough time!! I have soo many things I want to do, want to be a part of, want to accomplish, but school often lingers over that between school, my daughter, and house work I sometimes feel like I barely have time to breath...

Here's a list of the things I have been thinking about a lot lately and want to do/be.... To start off we have school and the fact that I desperately am pushing to be a straight A student because I REALLY want to graduate with honors next fall.. I will be sad if I don't!! Then there is the fact that I want to be the best most involved hands on mommy taking Kaylee to the park, on fun adventures like the zoo and museums, and playing fun things at home! I want to be the best wife with all the right things done and make my husband feel like he can relax after a long stressful day, I want to be the healthiest, fittest best feeling me, and I want to learn to sew and become a seamstress extraordinaire, I want to be betty homemaker with a pretty clean house, perfect meal plans, and delicious dinners. I want to be a DIY diva conquoring all that is home design on the cheap... I have this big beautiful house just waiting to be decorated and shallow money bags to do so.. how fun will it be to turn old into new and fabulous! I want to become the most extreme couponer, and a once a month freezer cooking queen. I want to be an article writing genius. I want to be a photography guru and put together a fabulous family fav cook book, a blogger diva, and most importantly I want to be a devoted loving child of God... all while trying to find more odds and ends jobs to help my family, possibly continue to build a business, and find time to sleep...and... THIS ISNT EVEN POSSIBLE!!!! lol

Last night our dinner burnt, my husband cleaned for hours and I did hw and kaylee ran around the house chasing whoever she could find... and I looked up and just started to cry.... hahaha I was getting SO stressed about everything that it was phyically hurting my chest to breathe (ok ok I might be a little dramatic but you get the idea)... my husband and I talked and finally we snuggled to sleep...

This morning I woke up and we were talking and he said wow you seem like you are in a better mood.. well I am... I prayed about it... and I released it... and thank you God for being there to hear my anxiety and to bring me comfort.. I can only do what I can do... and I need to accept that.. I need to accept that while I am in school sometimes it's going to be tough some days are going to feel like they ended and I accomplished zero and somedays I am going to feel like I won the Nascar 500 but as long as I get up in the morning pray that God would cover me with peace and I go at it attempting to accomplish everything I can and be my best me... well that's all I can do! And I do believe God will reward me for that. So here's to figuring out a schedule that allows me to get my hw done, keep my house together, have some fun with my baby and hubby, and find a few random moments every now and then to accomplish all the other goodies I want to learn.

With all of that being said...

This week I am linking up the song "Hold Me" by Jamie Grace for the What's Your Song? Link-Up Week 28 hosted weekly by one of my all time favorite bloggers Amber over at Goodnight Moon. Check out her blog I promise you won't regret it she has the BEST giveaways, some hilarious posts, and is just all around fun. I feel like I know her from all her awesome posts and she has a FABULOUS creation in the mix with her new etsy shop that will be opening up soon.

I picked this song because I think it perfectly describes the way that things get so crazy in my life but every single day God is holding me and He is giving me something special and I am so thankful for that and for His constant love in this crazy world. Plus it has a fun beat and my one year old LOVES to dance to this song!! haha ENJOY

flash floods, high winds, hurricanes OH MY!

So being the west coast girl that I am this hurricane stuff has sort of really freaked me out!! The government and news are obviously doing the best that they can to explain and keep the public up to day, but it has gotten me a little more riled up that I expected...

The last few days while I was in San Diego I kept thinking about it and the fact that when we got home we needed to prepare and I was thankful to fly in so early this morning.... but.... I don't think that I was fully prepared for what a hurricane means and how you really have to prep for something like this...

They are saying that this hurricane has potential to cause some serious damage so it's been kind of crazy for me to think about. As I got home and really started to discover and unfold how you prep for a hurricane.... I was surprisingly calm!

I headed out to the commisary at about 11 to stock up on nonperishables and some fruit and lunch meat and drinks and water... I ended up going alone because my husband barely got any sleep waiting for my plane last night and Kaylee had fallen asleep for a nap... So I left them both!! On the 20 min drive I kept wondering if the commisary was going to be a mad house, if things would even be left on the shelves, reviewing my list in my head and just thinking about the possibilities of this hurricane..

We are in a location where depending on which way the hurricane turns... it could really go either way for us... we aren't SO close to the shore that it will be deadly but we are in a location that could be considered high risk and at the lowest medium risk... They have been reporting that we could potentially be without electricity and water for a few days... So I knew that I needed to be fully prepared... When I got to the commisary it was definitely chaos with all the people in there, but it wasn't as crazy as I thought. The water was almost out though so I was happy to get 2 cases and a few little baby ones.... As I wondered the aisles checking out other peoples carts and keeping the random lists I'd read in mind... I began to get kind of nervous... I'd walk past an aisle and go "Oh this has a shelf life and doesn't need to be cooked.." and "hey this too" little by little my cart was overflowing with a whole lot of random stuff..... my nerves kicked in as I dropped one thing after another in the cart... haha... 200 dollars later I was like... HOLY COW WHAT IN THE WORLD?! lol... but hey.... if this hurricane does knock out our power... we will be well fed... maybe a little overweight even!!

When Mike woke up and saw the cabinets and counters he was like "wow... you obviously haven't been through a hurricane season yet!" I couldn't help but be freaked out... told him he shouldnt send me alone!! My brother in law is pretty happy with the fully stocked cabinets too though.
 

I also moved everything out of the yard that could fly away including the hose and our solar power lights for the walk way. I filled up 2 pitchers and our 4 sports bottles with filtered water just as an extra and gased the car up to full...

Through all of this... I remained pretty stinkin calm if I do say so for a born and raised cali girl who has never seen a hurricane or tornado or even serious flooding... What did me in was when I started to pack an emergency bag and had to pick out the important documents to put in air tight bags and take with... of course at this point that's all really slim to none that we would have to evacuate... but I am thinking better to get it done now... as I started to think about what I would need and what Kaylee would need and which documents were most important... I felt myself kind of internally freak out.... I decided to just stop... I went downstairs... said a few prayers and relaxed on the couch with my little. I am feeling a lot more at peace but the thought of having to evacuate really freaked me out... I know that if they said leave... there is no doubt in my mind that I would because I won't wait around waiting for trouble but just the thought of it is kind of terrifying!!

Anyways... we are spending the evening resting... enjoying our electronics and each others company... and if tomorrow the hurricane is bad and we get some crazy weather and some flooding and some scary winds... well... we will get through it... all this stuff... it's just stuff... as long as I have my family and we are safe... that's what matters!

Changes

Have you ever noticed that sometimes you have to do something out of your routine to notice that your routine really may not have been that great all along? I have been in San Diego for my grandparents wedding since last Tuesday and I have truly been out of my routine. And it has made me realize how badly I needed a wake up call in so many areas....

It's really kind of funny because it's a wake up call in so many areas of my life, but at the same time in nothing specific just my whole routine in general. I am really beginning to notice that my heart has been in the right place but my actions haven't always been following my intentions... Kind of confusing... haha

I'm sure I will have a longer blog post all about this stuff, but for now that's all about that...

Lately, things have been so crazy around our house and my car and our life in our new home in general that I had been having a really hard time. I was honestly a little nervous about coming to San Diego and seeing all my friends and family and being really upset that we moved away especially to where we are.... but I'm not! I mean don't get my wrong it's hard not to miss it here just A LITTLE to see all the things I know and grew up around, to see my friends and family, to drive passed our first house together or walk around where we got engaged, or to see Kaylee playing with all her baby friends she would be with all the time if we were still here... but I wholeheartedly was reminded that HOME is where the heart is... and my heart happens to wear a Navy Uniform and be stationed in Washington DC and you know what.... that's home to me. We have a beautiful house even through our trials, we have a fairly good car, we are all healthy, we are taken care of, and we know and love a God that saved us even when we didn't deserve... is it hard not having friends? yes... is it hard not feeling like we belong yet? yes... is it hard learning the trial and errors of owning a home? yes... but you know what.... everything comes with time... and I am EXCITED to go HOME with my babygirl and to be with daddy again and to start over fresh with the busy crazy first summer behind us and the rest of our lives a head of us...

So... here's to change... here's to accepting EVERYTHING life throws at us.. and for LOVING it even when it's hard, even when you don't want to, and even when you're not sure you can.. Life comes fast and it comes hard and it doesn't stop for anyone... so why not enjoy the ride?

I may not know our future, I may not know where we will be or what we will be doing... one thing I do know is we will be together as a family and we will be overflowing with the love of God and that's more than enough for me.