10 Day You Challenge .... 10 Secrets

So I am sure that you guys have seen this challenge around in the bloggy world. I know that I saw quite a few bloggers doing it... and decided I would jump on board! So... 10 secrets...

10. I really dislike curse words. I know sometimes I let things get the best of me and I am certainly not proud of it, but when someone cusses every other word it really makes me cringe! I especially dislike when people cuss in front of their children. Call me old fashioned because I know that a lot of them hear it at school etc but I don't think they should hear it at home. But.. that's just me..

9. I try everything in my power to eat really healthy, workout everyday, and drink only water.. I am even on weight watchers right now, but honestly sometimes it just doesn't happen. I have been doing way better since starting weight watchers in the eating and drinking department, but the working out I still really struggle in! I know part of that is due to my fibromyalgia, it leaves me in pain for days after one intense 20-30min workout or run.

8. Guess it's not really a secret but a lot of people don't know that I have Fibromyalgia. I was diagnosed at 15 after waking up one morning swollen all over, in so much pain it wasn't even possible to get out of bed, and so weak I couldn't pick up a glass of water. After weeks and months of shuffling from one doctor to another, being pulled from regular school and put in home studies, facing my worst fears with needles and blood and tests, and being told it was all in my head or that I probably had __________ a life threatening or delapitating condition (you name it they said I had it) I finally got directed to a doctor that found the missing links. Learning to live with it was an interesting journey some days I am still learning because on the outside I look normal but on the inside sometimes I am in severe pain and people don't see that. Because it's not something that you can see physically on the outside I endured a lot of painful criticism and rumors when I returned of people thinking I had disappeared to give a baby up for adoption or whatever other things they thought up.

7. I honestly don't want to work a job... at all... I wish that I could always be a full time stay at home mom to take care of my family and kids... at least while the kids are younger... I really want to be able to be actively involved in all the different steps of their life... who knows... I've still got some time... but right now I am working some odds and ends jobs and applying for more... simply because we could use the money... not because I want to.

6. Another not to secret secret is that I am totally and completely addicted to Facebook to the point that it is sickening!!! I am working on breaking the habit little by little but I think I need to like go cold turkey for a while. I don't want to delete it all together because it's the way that I communicate with so many of my friends and family all over the place! I have been doing better and have been reminding myself not to waste time on things or people I don't need to talk to or read about. That has definitely helped!!

5. I am totally obsessed with music... singing and dancing in the like.. when it's just Kaylee and I we turned the music up extra loud and dance around. I totally adore the fact that my one year old loves dancing already because any little beat comes on and she is wiggling her shoulders, nodding her head, clapping her hands, and shaking her butt!! It's too cute. When in the car I like to turn the music up loud and just sing it out! Did I mention I am not a good singer or dancer? haha

4. I am not loving Maryland as much as I thought I would, but I think part of that is everything I do is online so I haven't had a huge chance to meet people and make new friends. We recently started attending a new church and I am hoping to get plugged in there and things will start getting better. Regardless I am making the most of our situation and our new found home and do all sorts of exploring etc. It's pretty cool but I can't deny I wish I had some friends.

3. I hate the summer. Okay for my close friends and family that isn't a BIG shocker, but honestly I hate the heat. I cannot stand when it's hot and humid... made MAryland in the summer a real pleasure... haha.. I could honestly live in like.. Seattle or something where it's cold practically all the time, but I won't lie.... I really enjoyed the midwest winter... yeah yeah call my crazy but just thinking about all the snow is cooling me off.

2. I have a serious problem with confrontation. I hate to confront someone and make a big deal out of things. I don't like fighting and any sort of uncomfortable discussion ends up with me in tears most times. The first sign at someone being mean I cry... haha... call me a baby but when I feel attacked I basically shut down... I mean if something is necessary I will get it out and the discussion will be over, but I don't see a point in being mean to people for no reason or attacking someone's beliefs. The only time I feel comfortable talking to people about things that could cause confrontation are when we are really close because even if we don't agree.... it usually is discussed in a loving manner.


1. I could totally live my life Duggar style. Okay Okay not quite that way but what I mean is I would love nothing more than to have a BIG family with lots of little babies.. but my husband doesn't like this pictures so much haha. We both came from large families but his experience left him wanting a small family and mine left me thinking BIG BIG BIG. I guess it will all be left in the Lord's hands.

 Wow! This was surprisingly harder than I anticipated... who has 10 secrets right off the top of their head? I really had to think about it!!

Accepting what you cannot change... And What's Your Song? Link Up!

I will be the first to admit that I am a stresser... You name it.. I've stressed about it... I stress to the point that it sometimes physically hurts me or makes me ill... it's really kind of sick that I let things affect me this way... One thing I have been working on for a while is finding God's peace in all things and laying it down at the foot of the cross.. I sometimes feel like I am doing a lot better at not being anxious but it all things going to Him who comforts me in prayer and feeling the peace he brings. BUT.. I am human... and sometimes it gets the best of me anyways... on days like last night!!

I am officially in 4 classes and they are JAM PACKED I know that I could lighten my course load but I am really pushing towards graduation and don't want to put it off a whole semester just because of 2 extra classes you know? Well I started to read all my course outlines and plan out in my planner what is due by when and what reading I have etc... and let me tell you... this is going to be ONE INSANE QUARTER!! I have 3 classes that end at the end of oct and then two more that pick up and end in dec and math that goes from now til dec... and holy cannoli I have a crazzzzy semester in front of me!! Currently I am taking a old testament bible class, a intro to christian counseling class, a teaching the bible and religion class and the math class and I definitely have my work cut out for me between the insane amounts of reading, tests, papers, journals, discussion boards... wowza!

Anyways what really got me on this topic is that I have found while I am in school I just don't have enough time!! I have soo many things I want to do, want to be a part of, want to accomplish, but school often lingers over that between school, my daughter, and house work I sometimes feel like I barely have time to breath...

Here's a list of the things I have been thinking about a lot lately and want to do/be.... To start off we have school and the fact that I desperately am pushing to be a straight A student because I REALLY want to graduate with honors next fall.. I will be sad if I don't!! Then there is the fact that I want to be the best most involved hands on mommy taking Kaylee to the park, on fun adventures like the zoo and museums, and playing fun things at home! I want to be the best wife with all the right things done and make my husband feel like he can relax after a long stressful day, I want to be the healthiest, fittest best feeling me, and I want to learn to sew and become a seamstress extraordinaire, I want to be betty homemaker with a pretty clean house, perfect meal plans, and delicious dinners. I want to be a DIY diva conquoring all that is home design on the cheap... I have this big beautiful house just waiting to be decorated and shallow money bags to do so.. how fun will it be to turn old into new and fabulous! I want to become the most extreme couponer, and a once a month freezer cooking queen. I want to be an article writing genius. I want to be a photography guru and put together a fabulous family fav cook book, a blogger diva, and most importantly I want to be a devoted loving child of God... all while trying to find more odds and ends jobs to help my family, possibly continue to build a business, and find time to sleep...and... THIS ISNT EVEN POSSIBLE!!!! lol

Last night our dinner burnt, my husband cleaned for hours and I did hw and kaylee ran around the house chasing whoever she could find... and I looked up and just started to cry.... hahaha I was getting SO stressed about everything that it was phyically hurting my chest to breathe (ok ok I might be a little dramatic but you get the idea)... my husband and I talked and finally we snuggled to sleep...

This morning I woke up and we were talking and he said wow you seem like you are in a better mood.. well I am... I prayed about it... and I released it... and thank you God for being there to hear my anxiety and to bring me comfort.. I can only do what I can do... and I need to accept that.. I need to accept that while I am in school sometimes it's going to be tough some days are going to feel like they ended and I accomplished zero and somedays I am going to feel like I won the Nascar 500 but as long as I get up in the morning pray that God would cover me with peace and I go at it attempting to accomplish everything I can and be my best me... well that's all I can do! And I do believe God will reward me for that. So here's to figuring out a schedule that allows me to get my hw done, keep my house together, have some fun with my baby and hubby, and find a few random moments every now and then to accomplish all the other goodies I want to learn.

With all of that being said...

This week I am linking up the song "Hold Me" by Jamie Grace for the What's Your Song? Link-Up Week 28 hosted weekly by one of my all time favorite bloggers Amber over at Goodnight Moon. Check out her blog I promise you won't regret it she has the BEST giveaways, some hilarious posts, and is just all around fun. I feel like I know her from all her awesome posts and she has a FABULOUS creation in the mix with her new etsy shop that will be opening up soon.

I picked this song because I think it perfectly describes the way that things get so crazy in my life but every single day God is holding me and He is giving me something special and I am so thankful for that and for His constant love in this crazy world. Plus it has a fun beat and my one year old LOVES to dance to this song!! haha ENJOY

flash floods, high winds, hurricanes OH MY!

So being the west coast girl that I am this hurricane stuff has sort of really freaked me out!! The government and news are obviously doing the best that they can to explain and keep the public up to day, but it has gotten me a little more riled up that I expected...

The last few days while I was in San Diego I kept thinking about it and the fact that when we got home we needed to prepare and I was thankful to fly in so early this morning.... but.... I don't think that I was fully prepared for what a hurricane means and how you really have to prep for something like this...

They are saying that this hurricane has potential to cause some serious damage so it's been kind of crazy for me to think about. As I got home and really started to discover and unfold how you prep for a hurricane.... I was surprisingly calm!

I headed out to the commisary at about 11 to stock up on nonperishables and some fruit and lunch meat and drinks and water... I ended up going alone because my husband barely got any sleep waiting for my plane last night and Kaylee had fallen asleep for a nap... So I left them both!! On the 20 min drive I kept wondering if the commisary was going to be a mad house, if things would even be left on the shelves, reviewing my list in my head and just thinking about the possibilities of this hurricane..

We are in a location where depending on which way the hurricane turns... it could really go either way for us... we aren't SO close to the shore that it will be deadly but we are in a location that could be considered high risk and at the lowest medium risk... They have been reporting that we could potentially be without electricity and water for a few days... So I knew that I needed to be fully prepared... When I got to the commisary it was definitely chaos with all the people in there, but it wasn't as crazy as I thought. The water was almost out though so I was happy to get 2 cases and a few little baby ones.... As I wondered the aisles checking out other peoples carts and keeping the random lists I'd read in mind... I began to get kind of nervous... I'd walk past an aisle and go "Oh this has a shelf life and doesn't need to be cooked.." and "hey this too" little by little my cart was overflowing with a whole lot of random stuff..... my nerves kicked in as I dropped one thing after another in the cart... haha... 200 dollars later I was like... HOLY COW WHAT IN THE WORLD?! lol... but hey.... if this hurricane does knock out our power... we will be well fed... maybe a little overweight even!!

When Mike woke up and saw the cabinets and counters he was like "wow... you obviously haven't been through a hurricane season yet!" I couldn't help but be freaked out... told him he shouldnt send me alone!! My brother in law is pretty happy with the fully stocked cabinets too though.
 

I also moved everything out of the yard that could fly away including the hose and our solar power lights for the walk way. I filled up 2 pitchers and our 4 sports bottles with filtered water just as an extra and gased the car up to full...

Through all of this... I remained pretty stinkin calm if I do say so for a born and raised cali girl who has never seen a hurricane or tornado or even serious flooding... What did me in was when I started to pack an emergency bag and had to pick out the important documents to put in air tight bags and take with... of course at this point that's all really slim to none that we would have to evacuate... but I am thinking better to get it done now... as I started to think about what I would need and what Kaylee would need and which documents were most important... I felt myself kind of internally freak out.... I decided to just stop... I went downstairs... said a few prayers and relaxed on the couch with my little. I am feeling a lot more at peace but the thought of having to evacuate really freaked me out... I know that if they said leave... there is no doubt in my mind that I would because I won't wait around waiting for trouble but just the thought of it is kind of terrifying!!

Anyways... we are spending the evening resting... enjoying our electronics and each others company... and if tomorrow the hurricane is bad and we get some crazy weather and some flooding and some scary winds... well... we will get through it... all this stuff... it's just stuff... as long as I have my family and we are safe... that's what matters!

Changes

Have you ever noticed that sometimes you have to do something out of your routine to notice that your routine really may not have been that great all along? I have been in San Diego for my grandparents wedding since last Tuesday and I have truly been out of my routine. And it has made me realize how badly I needed a wake up call in so many areas....

It's really kind of funny because it's a wake up call in so many areas of my life, but at the same time in nothing specific just my whole routine in general. I am really beginning to notice that my heart has been in the right place but my actions haven't always been following my intentions... Kind of confusing... haha

I'm sure I will have a longer blog post all about this stuff, but for now that's all about that...

Lately, things have been so crazy around our house and my car and our life in our new home in general that I had been having a really hard time. I was honestly a little nervous about coming to San Diego and seeing all my friends and family and being really upset that we moved away especially to where we are.... but I'm not! I mean don't get my wrong it's hard not to miss it here just A LITTLE to see all the things I know and grew up around, to see my friends and family, to drive passed our first house together or walk around where we got engaged, or to see Kaylee playing with all her baby friends she would be with all the time if we were still here... but I wholeheartedly was reminded that HOME is where the heart is... and my heart happens to wear a Navy Uniform and be stationed in Washington DC and you know what.... that's home to me. We have a beautiful house even through our trials, we have a fairly good car, we are all healthy, we are taken care of, and we know and love a God that saved us even when we didn't deserve... is it hard not having friends? yes... is it hard not feeling like we belong yet? yes... is it hard learning the trial and errors of owning a home? yes... but you know what.... everything comes with time... and I am EXCITED to go HOME with my babygirl and to be with daddy again and to start over fresh with the busy crazy first summer behind us and the rest of our lives a head of us...

So... here's to change... here's to accepting EVERYTHING life throws at us.. and for LOVING it even when it's hard, even when you don't want to, and even when you're not sure you can.. Life comes fast and it comes hard and it doesn't stop for anyone... so why not enjoy the ride?

I may not know our future, I may not know where we will be or what we will be doing... one thing I do know is we will be together as a family and we will be overflowing with the love of God and that's more than enough for me.

Thankful

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the military aspect of our lives....

My husband returned home in the middle of deployment at the end of April because we PCSed to Maryland where he is on shore duty for the next 2.5ish years.

Shore duty has been SUCH a huge and WONDERFUL change for our family. Today it donned on me that Mike hasn't been gone in almost 4 WHOLE months.... that is insane!! In our almost 3 years of marriage he was NEVER home that long.. there was always trainings, underways, weekends out to sea, overnight duty every 6 days, and deployments and all the training and schedule changes that come with those...

Ship life is what we became accustomed to. Long work hours, unreliable schedules, random recalls, tons of extra weekend work top off all of the other things I listed...

But now, things are so different! My husband comes home between 3 and 4 basically every day. He has duty once a week and OOD once a month... which basically only means he stays until 5-6pm instead. No more empty bed every 6 nights. He is basically never recalled, makes it home for dinner virtually every night, is free on the weekends, he is here to tuck our daughter into bed and to hold our hands as we walk into church on Sunday mornings and in San Diego both of those were truly a rare occasion. I can't deny that it has been so nice.

I guess that's why they say Shore duty is the prize... because for just a little while you get some freedom, you get some family time, you get some normal... (whatever that is..)

Aside from my husbands 2-3x weekly PT mornings, our weekly trip to the commisary/BX barber shop, and the daily ironing of his uniform (which he looks oh so handsome in!!) sometimes I think I honestly forget the little things about being a military family.. We don't live on base, he doesn't even work on a military base just a random govt installation, his command has ZERO family readiness organizations, and we live so far from base that I usually just go to target instead of the BX when I used to go to the NEX for everything!

This doesn't mean we aren't experiencing all the unknowns of the military... the what next's, the what if's, the where to's... those sneak up on all of us... and are sometimes daily convos with our family.. but it's been an interesting period of adjustment for the whole family... I think for the first time we are learning how to just be a family, I am learning how to be a wife apart from a military wife, and that's okay! But there are also everyday reminders of our families dedication to this country, of my husbands commitment to the United States Navy, and of the never end PRIDE and LOVE that I have as a part of the military spouse community.

My friends who are all in SD are finally winding down to the end of their deployment and the excitment and anxiety they are all facing as their anxiously await the well deserved first look at their loves as they step off of those airplanes or onto those peers is so apparent in their posts and I can't help but get SO excited for them and also SO thankful for them.. because that was me not every long ago. As some of them meet their babies for the first time, some of them come home to a child that they left as a tiny baby and are meeting as a walking talking toddler, and some of them come to less than exciting situations... I can't help but think of the way that deployments and separations shape so much of the life of a military family. And I can't help but be reminded of the sweet kiss and embrace of a homecoming... how the second that they step out in front of you and put their arms around you all the nerves and what ifs suddenly disappear and you are on to learning how to go back from two people to one... and how beautiful (even in the tough moments) that really is...

Even still... not everyone is gearing up for the homecoming... some people are gearing up for the pain of watching their loved ones walk off for another deployment... some people are gearing up for the long lonely nights, for the tough conversation of telling the kids daddy has to go away again, for the life as mom and dad... and for them my heart melts... those days are tough but they will soon be keeping their eyes on the prize of homecoming again too...

Then today I was reminded that even though we always anticipate the homecoming and the happy ending.. there are so many families that never get that... so many wives that will never see their husbands again, so many kids that won't see or even meet their daddy.. and the thought of that is even more than heartbreaking...

I think it's important for people to reflect on these things.. it's important for people to remember that right now there are families in all of the different stages of deployments and separations, of all different stages in their careers and with their families.. And I think it's important to remind those people around you that you are thankful for them, that you are sending them love and thoughts and prayers to whatever stage they are in... because ultimately we are all in waiting at one point or another...

SAD!!

I am so sad! Blogger did some updating or something and you can't see ANY of the pictures on my blog anymore!! I made a new banner, but all my old posts etc the pictures don't work!!!

Back in Action!

What a long and crazy month the last month has been...

Since my last blog we have had so much craziness!!!

Right before my last blog I experienced some crazy hive like rash... the following weekend my hubs was in a car accident (nothing serious just hurt his back a little), our ceiling randomly started leaking water and had to be cut open to "fix" the problem, and I had to be rushed to the ER on 4th of July because I had an ovarian cyst I didn't know about rupture. The cyst left me knocked on my butt for a few days and caused me to go through a lot of crazy emotions I wasn't expecting!!

Shortly after healing up I started a mad dash to pack and fly alone with my crazy toddler to Minnesota for my life long best friend and sisters wedding! We got stuck in Milwaukee while a crazy thunderstorm went over. We finally arrived and it was an amazing trip!! It went by way to quick but it was SO nice to be with all the family. I loved that even though the whole week was (obviously) Sar and Brendan centered it was also super family centered (which is also very Sar and Brendan). I loved spending so much time with all of the people that I love, but I was bummed my husband couldn't be there. Here is a sneak peak of me and the bride..

While we were in Minnesota Kaylee also had her first hair cut! It came out adorable, but there are still a few stray hairs I need to catch and trim in her bangs!

I flew home with the baby later in the evening on a Saturday night. It was a tough flight for me, not because of the baby but because when I left I wasn't sure when I was going to see my family again and that made me a lot more emotional than I expected! We arrived home at night and had to unpack do laundry and repack because first thing Sunday morning we were off to Chesapeake, VA where my hubs had business for the week and the govt put us up in a hotel. It was a blast! We got to go to a kids version of Dave and Busters, explore a new area and base, eat at this cute buffet in North Carolina, went to Virginia Beach for my first glance at the Atlantic Ocean and Kaylee's first time ever in the ocean which we LOVED, made some new friends with a couple of my husbands work friends, and ventured a 1.5 hour drive down to Outer Banks, NC! It was awesome and reminded me of the beaches in all the cute movies like Dear John and The Notebook!! Kaylee didn't love this beach quite as much because the waves were way bigger and there was no where to shower her off and mommy didn't love it quite as much because we found shark eggs, people were looking for sharks, and the day before a 5 year old had been bitten! I don't have a ton of pics yet because some still need to be uploaded from my phone but here are some from Outer Banks.

^^^^ Those bad boys are shark eggs!! Scary!!

We got home on Friday afternoon and set off to clean up the house, get things in order, take care of school work and other stuff and lots of swimming because it was SOOOO stinkin hot!!! One of the days we went to the pool and the pool water was literally hotter than the temp I shower at!!! It was nuts...

That Monday, we set off on another adventure! This time the hubs was totally free of work.. We headed down to Williamsburg to explore all the things that the city has to offer. We took a few drives through Colonial Williamsburg and learned a bit about the history, we mini golfed, we swam, we went to ripley's believe it or not, we ate at some super fun little places, we went to the Yankee Candle Co headquarters where I got a DELICIOUS scent called "Pink Sand" that I am totally obsessed with, we checked out some cute little shops and we ended the trip with a free morning in Busch Gardens. It wasn't everything we had wanted from the trip because it was probably one of the hottest days of the summer, but in the fall we want to head back down and watch the lighting of the city in colonial williamsburg and do a little more exploring when it's not as hot!! Busch Gardens would have been so much fun had it not been almost 100 degrees out plus humidity, but it was still really fun. My baby girl rode some of her first rides which was so fun!

Needless to say we had a really fun and crazy month. We have had a lot of ups and downs. Our month ended with another leak and about 4000 in repairs, but I just keep reminding myself that it's just things. I am so thankful and so blessed for my family, both near and far, and the life that I have.

God really opened my eyes to the important things in life in the last month and redirected my attention to the things that matter and I am so excited to see the way my life unfolds.

I'm going to close this blog with a few silly pics of my mini girl in her new favorite "hat" which is really just a travel size cosmetic bag.. haha

This silly girl has made my heart melt every single day and reminds me to stop being so serious and to enjoy the little things in life. I can't wait to document every minute of her growing up!!

Be looking forward to lots more from me very soon!!