My husband returned home in the middle of deployment at the end of April because we PCSed to Maryland where he is on shore duty for the next 2.5ish years.
Shore duty has been SUCH a huge and WONDERFUL change for our family. Today it donned on me that Mike hasn't been gone in almost 4 WHOLE months.... that is insane!! In our almost 3 years of marriage he was NEVER home that long.. there was always trainings, underways, weekends out to sea, overnight duty every 6 days, and deployments and all the training and schedule changes that come with those...
Ship life is what we became accustomed to. Long work hours, unreliable schedules, random recalls, tons of extra weekend work top off all of the other things I listed...
But now, things are so different! My husband comes home between 3 and 4 basically every day. He has duty once a week and OOD once a month... which basically only means he stays until 5-6pm instead. No more empty bed every 6 nights. He is basically never recalled, makes it home for dinner virtually every night, is free on the weekends, he is here to tuck our daughter into bed and to hold our hands as we walk into church on Sunday mornings and in San Diego both of those were truly a rare occasion. I can't deny that it has been so nice.
I guess that's why they say Shore duty is the prize... because for just a little while you get some freedom, you get some family time, you get some normal... (whatever that is..)
Aside from my husbands 2-3x weekly PT mornings, our weekly trip to the commisary/BX barber shop, and the daily ironing of his uniform (which he looks oh so handsome in!!) sometimes I think I honestly forget the little things about being a military family.. We don't live on base, he doesn't even work on a military base just a random govt installation, his command has ZERO family readiness organizations, and we live so far from base that I usually just go to target instead of the BX when I used to go to the NEX for everything!
This doesn't mean we aren't experiencing all the unknowns of the military... the what next's, the what if's, the where to's... those sneak up on all of us... and are sometimes daily convos with our family.. but it's been an interesting period of adjustment for the whole family... I think for the first time we are learning how to just be a family, I am learning how to be a wife apart from a military wife, and that's okay! But there are also everyday reminders of our families dedication to this country, of my husbands commitment to the United States Navy, and of the never end PRIDE and LOVE that I have as a part of the military spouse community.
My friends who are all in SD are finally winding down to the end of their deployment and the excitment and anxiety they are all facing as their anxiously await the well deserved first look at their loves as they step off of those airplanes or onto those peers is so apparent in their posts and I can't help but get SO excited for them and also SO thankful for them.. because that was me not every long ago. As some of them meet their babies for the first time, some of them come home to a child that they left as a tiny baby and are meeting as a walking talking toddler, and some of them come to less than exciting situations... I can't help but think of the way that deployments and separations shape so much of the life of a military family. And I can't help but be reminded of the sweet kiss and embrace of a homecoming... how the second that they step out in front of you and put their arms around you all the nerves and what ifs suddenly disappear and you are on to learning how to go back from two people to one... and how beautiful (even in the tough moments) that really is...
Even still... not everyone is gearing up for the homecoming... some people are gearing up for the pain of watching their loved ones walk off for another deployment... some people are gearing up for the long lonely nights, for the tough conversation of telling the kids daddy has to go away again, for the life as mom and dad... and for them my heart melts... those days are tough but they will soon be keeping their eyes on the prize of homecoming again too...
Then today I was reminded that even though we always anticipate the homecoming and the happy ending.. there are so many families that never get that... so many wives that will never see their husbands again, so many kids that won't see or even meet their daddy.. and the thought of that is even more than heartbreaking...
I think it's important for people to reflect on these things.. it's important for people to remember that right now there are families in all of the different stages of deployments and separations, of all different stages in their careers and with their families.. And I think it's important to remind those people around you that you are thankful for them, that you are sending them love and thoughts and prayers to whatever stage they are in... because ultimately we are all in waiting at one point or another...
